I started my weekend at my real home in New Jersey with friends, family and fitness. It’s been a great time here even in the heat. We had so many graduation parties and get together’s for the 4th that good food and deserts have been taunting me! But the biggest thing that has been bothering me is…short shorts.
You see, this post is difficult to write because it’s always been something that has bothered me. Short shorts. I remember when I was younger, searching with my mom for weeks in different stores before my senior trip looking for shorts that weren’t gorging my love handles and showing my “blubber.” Cheerleading camp was always torturous because I was forced to wear the short shorts that I was so embarrassed to wear. As you can see, since i still recount these experiences…I was pretty tough on myself.
Well…after losing my weight and my gaining accomplishments in running, you’d think that this haunting I’ve put myself through would end! And it did, until I put on my white shorts again.
I had purchased a pair of Old Navy 3inch white classic shorts or my Hawaii trip two summers ago and loved them…more so because they had a size 8 on them. I hadn’t worn them much after the Hawaii trip…but brought them up for this trip to wear in the sweltering heat.
Well…. I put them on and immediately became upset. Love handles, pooch, tight at the legs, too Short = looked terrible. (It didn’t help that I had a suitcase and not my closet with me to have other options after the issue came up!)
My mind went into playing games immediately. Did I gain weight? Did my injury hurt me even more? Do I not eat? skip the desert! You look bad!
That day I wore a skirt to the parties and skipped on desert. It made me upset something like that could hinder my ability to just enjoy a piece of chocolate.
Why the long post? Notice the mental battle I’m having with myself through this post! It’s long and tiresome (hopefully not for the reader!) and is something many people go through. It’s COMMON and NORMAL to have these mental battles as I have learned.
This moment I had was a moment of doubt. I doubted my health and happiness with my health because ideally I couldn’t fit into shorts that had shrunk because of use and were not my real size anymore. I looked at the number and judged my health negatively because of a pair of $20 Oldnavy shorts.
It makes me mad, angry and upset that I doubted all the work I put in for a stinking pair of shorts. And then I realized that it was ME who started the mental games in the first place!
Unfortunately this time I have no solution to this, but just a story to tell to hopefully relate with others out there who feel the same. It’s a difficult endeavor, you are your worst critic, shown here by example today. The only thing you can do is WORK HARD to stop the criticism by reminding yourself that the short short syndrome is just you saying you need to fit into a pair of shorts to fit into them but not LIVE in the pair of shorts. Try to live in those shorts because that’s what they are there for!
To conclude, I did go out and get another pair of white shorts and am not keeping the old shorts to remind myself to stop the sweets but to get rid of the negative thoughts that can haunt your health constantly.
And yes…that’s Phin in the mirror! He’s always so supportive.
Enjoy your Monday and stay cool this hot week!!