When you get asked to text: A qualitative study on what to do 

I recently started a conversation with a guy on Match. He reached out to me with a great message which was authentic and unique. (He read my profile)

After going back and forth with a few messages, he sent me his phone number and asked for me to text him.

This conversation has been great, I’ve enjoyed it. Here’s my number if you want to text.

What? How? When? (Ugh) <– this is my reaction.

In my Type A, anxiety driven personality I immediately went to Google to solve my anxiety. (I do not recommend this to anyone who is looking for an answer other than for definitions, math problems or urban dictionary translations)

Google wasn’t helping. They were recommending how to start a booty call. (Thanks, Google)

What exactly was I supposed to text? I have no idea how to start a conversation via text unless it’s with a client or a friend where I’m typically sending emojis back and forth.

I mean, really, what would you text to someone to “start” a conversation you’ve already been having online?

  • Hello (weird.)
  • Hey there (too flirty?)
  • Hey, this is Jamie. (Of course it is, you just received his number)
  • Hey, we’ve been talking on Match. This is Jamie, thanks for your number (uh. No)

So, when Google didn’t help with the quickest answer I went to my amazing and oh-so wonderful friends who have all of the experience. Hello qualitative study on how to initiate a conversation on text!

Here were their suggestions:

  • “Hey, it’s XX, thanks for your number!”
  • “Hey, it’s Jamie. How are you?
  • Continue the conversation, starting with “Hey, it’s Jamie”
  • Another suggestion came from someone who is also online dating. Her guy actually asked her number and jokingly said he wasn’t a stalker.

So here’s what I’ve learned:

  • Be simple and relax. Maybe this is advice for myself but the simple response, “Hey, it’s Jamie. Thanks for your number! How are you?” Worked.
  • Text is weird but texting is easy. Since its easy, keep it easy and don’t stress. (Again…more lessons for myself)
  • Anything really works but providing a question helps create a quick response. Think about how we communicate with our friends through text. We have long conversations, back and forth, why can’t this be the same way?
  • If you want the simple answer that Google should have had: Say hello, say who you are and then ask how they are.

Text is annoying. And for the record, I’m a TERRIBLE texter but in a situation where text is requested, I went with it.

Stay tuned for the first date. I arranged it! (Gulp.)

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