I’ve had my fair share of blind dates in the last 10 years and most of them have not gone swimmingly. I have recently been set up by a friend and even met someone at a bar and those didn’t go great either. So in my mind, setting up another blind date just doesn’t sound appetizing. In the spirit of a summer of dating, I carry on.
From my posts about texting, Rodger (this name has been changed) and I had decided it was time to meet in person. Really, after a few texts back and forth, I decided to go for it and ask when Rodger wanted to go grab a drink. (Confidence points for me!)
Here’s the back story on my conversations with Rodger:
Rodger reached out to me with a very personal message. I was intrigued and flattered by his thoughtfulness of reading my profile and then messaging me. (This sounds like a normal thing with online dating, but I’ve quickly noticed how many people use a template to say hello with the copy-paste function.)
Rodger had a few profile images of his house, which he also mentioned in his profile. He referred to these pictures and how much he enjoyed interior design.
My thinking: Well, that’s good. At least he would pay attention to these things.
Rodger also mentioned how much he enjoyed sports.
Me: Check, Check. I like sports too.
Rodger has a job in the tech world working for one of the big companies.
Me: Fantastic, I love and work in the technology industry. This will work out perfectly.
I decided the date was going to be organized with some time for me to head out with friends after the date. This may sound mean or even counter productive to dating, but it really does help to know you have somewhere to go when dates do go bad (we know this happens).
I set up our date (through conversations) for 6PM for a drink at a bar around his part of town. My friends and I were planning on going to experience Rot Rally (a huge biker weekend in Austin) so that we could go find Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. I really did feel like I was winning for the best Saturday if it were a challenge between my friends and I.
Here’s the fun part about the planning of my date. My Tom’s shoes. The day before, my brown wedges of 6 years had broken so it left me with the amazing shopper’s “excuse” to run out and purchase a pair of wedges I’ve been eyeing for a long time. I wore an orange tank top with a necklace, my jeans and Tom’s.
I even had an excellent send off crew to assist with my overall look. I know I’m very dependent when it comes to getting ready for things like this. I have NO idea what I’m doing (and it’s obvious because my friends know me better than myself) so this was a relieving and helpful part of my date.
I was ready to meet Rodger.
Rodger and I arranged to meet at a bar near the Domain in Austin. For those of you not from Austin, the Domain is outside of downtown and about 30 minutes from me (2 miles from downtown).
I arrived right at 6:01PM. After walking into the dark bar at 6PM on a Saturday when it’s 90 degrees out with you eyes spiraling out of control to get focused, I spotted Rodger at the bar waiting for me.
Well, I’m sure many of you have experienced that first meeting after your conversations online. I’m not sure what it’s all about when it comes to that first meeting – but you’d think it would be so cute like You’ve Got Mail.
This time…it wasn’t that romantic “wow” factor I was looking for.
I’m not trying to be mean or superficial here. All I can explain it as is, it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be like. I definitely wasn’t feeling like Meg Ryan (after they went through their quarrels).
Rodger and I immediately started talking about the top level things like how our weekend was and how our jobs were. We never dove into the topics that really grab or create a conversation until Rodger started talking about his house.
Rodger and I discussed his house and the real-estate market including the great locations in and around Austin. He explained he bought a house outside of downtown because he wants to have kids soon. Although I think it’s wonderful planning, at this exact point in the conversation I’m like the runaway bride.
It’s not that I don’t want kids but the planning of having kids and purchasing a house for this specific purpose without the person to have kids with was what made me feel like Julia Roberts.
But I shook it off and kept the conversation going.
About three-quarters of the way into our drinks, I was talking about how much I enjoyed running. It’s a very easy topic for me because I do it at least three times a week. Rodger agreed that running was a great thing and then mentioned how he’s trying to get back into exercise. This is when things got very interesting-
Rodger explained how he was a ballet dancer in college. He taught ball room and went to school for ballet, tap, and ball room.
So let’s rewind here:
Rodger wants kids and bought a house for them already.
Rodger loves interior design and shopping
Rodger was a ballet dancer.
No matter what you have created as an assumption in your head as a reader about Rodger by this point, I’m sure you can imagine my reaction to this news. It was already enough to hear about the kids and the house but now we’re adding this information to the mix.
I needed to go to Rot Rally. (Cue the tough guys, leather jackets and engines please!)
Rodger and I ended our conversations quickly thereafter since both of us had plans to attend to. I was going to Rot Rally with friends and he was going to continue working on his house.
I’m not sure what it is about dating and me but it really does seem like I’ve gotten “them all” when it comes to personalities of guys I have gone on dates with and the stories I come home with. Obviously, this all could be me and not the guys themselves BUT I do know that this one goes on the books as one of my most interesting dates.
Let’s just be real here- Rodger isn’t my summer squeeze. He was a VERY nice guy and I wish all the best for him but I think the interior designing, child planning and dancing was just not my cup of tea AND something you don’t learn about in a person’s profile or through text and emails.
I guess this means, I’m back to the drawing board and when someone asks if I’ve ever dated a ballet dancer- I get to say yes.
Cheers to some plies!
*Names have been anonymized for obvious reasons.