Experiment Recap: Initiating Conversations Isn’t Just a Male Thing

Last week I started a new experiment on my profile.

I’ve always been the person at work to be the boss, the person in charge, the go-getter but when it comes to my personal life I hide in most scenarios (unless there is wine involved).

The challenge to myself was to message guys who met my criteria through a focused and involved search. Involved sounds like an odd description, but it really means that I am putting attention to and really putting effort into my search results.

In addition to diligently looking for prospects I also added that I would message them instead of just winking at them. After reading a few different articles on how to message to a potential guy or interesting match, I went with the detailed approach.

The message went like this:

Hey there, my name is Jamie. Your profile was very interesting- <Insert something about their profile and how it relates to me > I think we have some common interests so I wanted to stop “by” and say hello.

The message, to me, was a bit quirky (I know stop “by” is odd) but it was something I would say to someone as my normal self.

I messaged 6 guys of interest last week with the same format of the message (I changed the similarities depending on their profile) and here were the results (in regards to responses)

2 guys messaged me back

2 never read the message

2 read and never responded

When I asked my friends about this, they chalked this up to a win. It was more than I would normally get in regards to responses because I took the initiative and started a conversation with two guys who turned out to be very interesting guys.

When we talk about stereotypes and dating do’s and don’ts – I’m starting to see the true meaning to “the times have changed.” I think we all need to understand and reflect on this a bit more. Now, this doesn’t mean I’m all for the woman taking the lead in the relationship all the time, I just mean that as much as ladies like to be courted, men do too. I mean, that’s why Bumble is so popular right? (If you don’t know Bumble, it’s an app where only the lady can initiate a conversation with a potential guy)

I think from this mini experiment we can all see that we, ladies, shouldn’t be shy to message any guys who we’re interested in.

I’m going to take a dose of my own medicine and keep messaging.

Stay tuned for more updates!

– J


4 thoughts on “Experiment Recap: Initiating Conversations Isn’t Just a Male Thing

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