There are quite a few old, draft blog posts where I mention, “It’s been a while.”
Yea…it’s been a while.
Last year, my New Year Resolution was to blog more. Then 2016 came and went. I did blog more, just in an interesting social experiment which turned into a very weird but pretty freaking cool story about falling for someone. (That really did happen)
So this year, I sat in my Lean In group and let them know- I AM BLOGGING THIS YEAR. So it’s now February and one month has passed which means I am officially off the resolution train.
I guess starting late counts?
So let’s recap and provide some context to some of the things in 2016 which made this resolution possible and why I’m bringing it back up and committing to this in 2017.
2015 into 2016 and 2016 were rough.
Whew. They don’t tell you about all of the things which come with being an adult at my age. My friends and I started to call the age of twenty-eight – #twentyhate because it was so brutal. For me, it was a combination of not finding motivation in my work without a personal life. I had squeezed almost everything I had into my career and had no idea who I was as a person. There’s a backstory to my lack of motivation. I was hit pretty hard with some real life scenarios as a business woman. I grew tremendously as a person and as a business woman however it took A LOT of growing pains.
Why was I pushing to focus on myself?
In 2015, I had a stellar year. I was promoted to VP of my company and had an AMAZING team and culture growing in our Austin office. I was working with professionals who have been in business for over 20 years and was pouring through new knowledge every day. I traveled every week, provided my team support and won a few awards along the way. It was great. So what happened?
We didn’t have the money to sustain. I had to lay off most of my team and learn what the other side of business really looks like.
It hit me hard. Real hard. That’s when I realized you can’t be at the top without YOU as a person and your support system. I slowly regained my sanity and time for myself through a lot of hard work and made a transition to an agency to learn about new industries and continue working on my career.
The beginning of 28 was rough because it was the climax to learning who I was. I had to push myself to focus on myself and not go back to the habitual craving I had to do the thing I was good at- work 24/7. This created a shit storm of many crying nights. (Yep- I am actually admitting I had emotional breakdowns) I think the grand finale for 28 and trying to “figure myself out” was when my ex-boyfriend decided to break things off (for a third time) on my birthday right after I was rear ended coming home from work. There wasn’t enough wine for me that day.
I do think that the significance of my birthday, my ex and my rear ended bumper created a flicker of light in me. I needed to figure it out FOR ME. As a type A personality, I decided it was time for a project.
That’s when I got fed up with online dating and wanted to prove it wrong. I started a blog called Summer Squeeze. I’ve added the posts here in the tag “Summer squeeze.” I can’t make this up: I started a dating blog to prove to everyone you can find someone online forever and then I found someone offline….(I guess the book deal isn’t going to come through on this one).
You’ll see my posts located here on CCC or on Summer Squeeze. But here’s the last sentence from my last post at Summer Squeeze:
It was great. He’s great and we’re still dating. (I know!) Stay tuned for more as we jump into Fall.
Cue the clicks to Summer Squeeze.
Summer squeeze really helped me as a person as well. It taught me about being confident and letting yourself make mistakes. Some of the dates I went on were insane. I once went out on a date with a ballet dancer and then two days later ended up with a guy who hunts toads. (I’m not kidding) It was a weird summer filled with enjoyable laughs with my girlfriends at the pool over my experiences. I think the coolest thing I learned was from Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance where he explains how many people are on these dating applications- it’s a MEAT MARKET LADIES – but how difficult it can be for us to commit because of who we are now with technology. I took that to heart and then made it a mission to not let these stupid right swipes with no messages or “ghosting” offensively. We have grown into a technology dependent society and with that comes positives (“Thank you Uber Eats.”) and negatives (“You suck, man with washboard abs, who swiped me for more time on Bumble and then you never answer.” At the end of the summer, I was already thinking about how to continue Summer Squeeze into the fall when I met Matt (known as Nick in Summer Squeeze). I think I met Matt for a few reasons some being very important like my best friend knowing him however, I do think it was because of my newfound confidence and ability to let the small stuff go which led me to Matt.
So you can see… Summer Squeeze has been a big part of 2016 for me and so has #twentyhate which has created an interesting year for sure. There’s many other things that happened in 2016. One of my best friends got married, I ended up taking a family trip which was pretty challenging, I met my girlfriends for a trip to Asheville, I went to the beach, I ran a lot, joined a new fitness group, it was fun. Ultimately, I can’t complain about 2016 too much because it was a year of breathing, experiencing and learning.
What I learned in 2016:
- You only have a certain amount of time here on Earth. You’ve got to live it up. (Ja Rule says it best). I was so focused on pushing my career forward that I forgot what it was like to be me. So much that it took me a year and a half to find it (and am still trying to put the pieces together). For the career driven gal, I’m proud of you. Remember to keep pushing yourself but that everyone has something or someone to lean on. No one made it to the top by themselves.
- The minute I stopped putting pressure on myself about online dating, I became available. This is a hard one for me because I’ve received the same advice. It’s SO ANNOYING TO HEAR AS A SINGLE PERSON but it’s so freaking right.
- I’m a human being and it’s okay not to be perfect. And explain that publicly. I’ve always admired the Chelsea Handler’s of the World who are truly icons and inspirations to people but have shown their skin as what it is. I learned it’s okay to share things, to feel the way you feel. My aspirations of being a CEO can be public and my drive and experiences can also be shared because it’s only going to make me a better human being. So here it goes:
- I want to be a CEO – I want to create a bad ass team who is empowered to make a difference in this world and inspire others. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this but this is my journey to figuring it out.
- I’m not perfect but I’m a pretty good manager. (Confidence works) which is going to help me achieve my goals.
- Getting there is going to take work. Work includes perfecting your craft, being creative and being healthy. Being healthy includes taking time off, exercising, eating well and being mentally sane. This means 80 hour weeks aren’t going to help you be creative. (I continually have to remind myself of this)
- Finally, it’s okay to not be perfect. Just document it. So here’s one of the most honest posts I’ve shared and here’s to many more.
I was in Asheville with my girlfriends for a weekend getaway and the two super moms of the group told me I should just start being a life coach and organizer for people because of all my tips and tricks.
The tips and tricks I was showing them were pretty simple- how to back up your photos. I then did a presentation at work about the top 10 apps I love which included some organizational apps, logistics and travel apps, etc. and it wowed the crowd (go me!) Which brings me here today.
Chocolate Covered Crunches shows alot about me and my growth as a human being and a woman- so why stop and why categorize into one small niche? Nope. That’s not me. Therefore, in 2017 you’ll see fun posts, serious posts, WTF posts and more. This is just my little space on the internet with a domain I really like.
Cheers to 2017.